On dating
Driving to dinner last night where discussing a mutual friend lead to the following conversation.
Me: She’s good. She’s dating. But just dating. You know, going to dinner and stuff? No hanky panky. Not like we “dated.”
Him: Yeah. Our kind of dating leads to blowjobs in parking lots on the first date.
Me: And then 10 years of happiness.
Him: True.
Me: And hey, the blowjob wasn’t on the first date. In point of fact, we never had a “date,” and it was on the second one, not the first.
Him: Oh, right. My bad. Still, good times.
Me: Your fiancee is a dirty whore.
Him: I know. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We shouldn’t work. We met at a bar, which conventional wisdom says never leads to lasting relationships. We had sex the second night of knowing each other, and the only reason it didn’t happen on the first night was my friends were trying to make me “be good” and I didn’t want to let them down. By all accounts, it should have been a one-night stand. Maybe two, because the sex was good. He had just broken up with a longterm girlfriend two weeks before; I was enjoying my quest for ever more notches on my bedpost.
But somehow, against the odds, we fell into a relationship. It was rocky at first, I’ll give you that. Rebound and reluctance to commit tend to do that. Maybe the sex made us ignore all that until we actually got to know each other enough to recognize that this was different, that there was more.
Ultimately, I chalk up our success to luck and chemistry and determination. Luck because of the random way we met. Chemistry because holy lord have we got that, and that spark can mute any number of problems screaming for attention. And determination because we just never gave up.
I’ve always felt there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about dating, and I always fell into the wrong way. (Here “wrong” doesn’t connote a judgment of morality, it just means likely to be ineffective.) The right way, the respectable and realistic and safe way, is you meet someone, there’s a spark of interest, you go out a couple of times, you keep your hands to yourself until about date three, you slowly share more and more of yourself, and you ease into a relationship, taking it slow, getting to know each other.
And then there’s the wrong way, Gypsy’s way. This involves seeing someone you think is hot, zoning in on them, flirting your pants off, having lots of really good sex, and then realizing, hey, this is more than just sex.
Perhaps it’s because we met so young. Were I in the market now, chances are I’d go about it the right way. But the wrong way worked for me. And it gives us something to laugh about now, how raunchy we were, how hot for each other, how completely inappropriate. Thank god that raunchiness remains, so that I can come home from work and he can pull my pants down and fuck me up against the wall in our hallway, laughing while the dogs bark their heads off.
So, however it happened, right way or wrong way, it’s our way and it works.
What’s your way? Was he a friend of your brother’s? Did you meet online? Was it love at first sight? Did you think she was a total bitch at first? Were you colleagues? Did you go to school together? Was he your best friend’s boyfriend? Did you do it my way, was it a drunken hookup that lasted?
And speaking of love, check this story out.
I say whatever works is good. I always did it the “right” way and it hasn’t worked out as well as you’d think it would. Maybe I ought to try your way.
Give it a shot. You never know.
— Gypsy
I think your experience proves that a woman trying to “time” sex doesn’t work. If a guy is interested enough to call you back, he’s going to call you back, regardless of whether you have sex with him or not. If he’s not that interested, he won’t be that interested, even if you waited the “right” amount of time for sex.
Amen, sister. — Gypsy
Prior to this year (and occasionally this year), I was a having sex in the parking lot of pizza hut kind of girl.
Now I’m “dating,” the way I never really did at any time other than high school.
I must confess: I like it.
But you know I envy you and Lance what you have.
Sometimes it helps to mix things up.
— Gypsy
I’ve dated all kinds of ways.
And you know how I met B, my son introduced us. Who’d have thunk?
That story about the Soviet couple is heartwarming
Now that is a great way to meet a guy. — Gypsy
Well, the Bald One and I went at it on our first date. Actually, given the weather report for tomorrow, we might be reenacting that weekend.
Course, we met online and had been “talking” via email about a month and a bit before we actually got to have a date
I’m not sure I knew that. Thanks for sharing!
— Gypsy
I wouldn’t know what to do as a woman on the dating scene. I lucked out. I met my hubby, at the age of 16 at…. are you ready? Space Camp.
Seriously.
We dated long-distance in high school, went to college together and except for a 6-month stint when I lost my marbles, dated throughout college. Then, one year after graduation, we were married.
So, if anything were to happen to him, I would probably just be celibate.
Scary!
Space Camp. That is priceless!
And Lancelot and I had a stint where he lost his marbles, too. But it lasted like 2 years. — Gypsy
My husband was actually my first serious boyfriend. He was my boss. He hired me in May and we had our first date in June and got engaged in September. That was almost 15 years ago. I knew on our first date we would get married. Dating your boss isn’t the smartest thing in the world but we managed.
Married to the boss! Oh yeah!
— Gypsy
I hate typical. I hate when people say that certain things don’t work.
Adam was my first love’s best friend. We actually hated each other. I still don’t understand how we got together.
Good point. I hate typical, too. — Gypsy
HAHAHA. That pretty much surmised my first date* with Matt but we knew each other so I felt safe enough to go back to his apt for some BJ shenanigans (shenanigans = as in too drunk to accomplish a damn thing).
*I call it a date now cos it ended with molesting
Ah, romance.
— Gypsy
I did it the “wrong” way.
We met, as you know, because he’s the UPS delivery man for my store. I was secretly hot for him for months…turns out he felt the same way. Our first date was one week after my divorce was final.
He picked me up in a red Trans Am and had Hinder playing on the stereo. I’m thinking, “What the hell?”
We went to a couple of bars and we just hit it off. It was immediately right. We went to an all night diner for “breakfast” at 2 am, back to my house…I didn’t want him to leave, but I was determined to be good. At 5am, I told him to stop being a gentleman.
We haven’t gone longer than one day without seeing each other since, even if it’s only for a few minutes. And only twice have we missed our nightly phone call.
I love him so much, and he takes me so far out of my box it isn’t even funny.
But I’m happy, and it works.
So maybe there is no such thing as “wrong”.
It wound up being right for both of us after all.
Awwwww. Love! — Gypsy
Well Gypsy.. My wife & I started off as neighbors, while we both were married to “our X’s”… Having been “family friends” and doing all kinds of things together we knew each other pretty well. When I first met her I thought she was a ponpus strong willed, pig head bitch LOL.. 5 weeks after I had moved out of my house, leaving my wife of 25 years. I get a hello email from her, telling me she had also moved out.. Our first date was NYE 02, we were married July 03! So I’d say we did it all the wrong way lol, but in the last 5 years, there have been plenty of blow jobs in public and 5am head job wake up calls.. and I for one wouldn’t have it any other way! What looked so wrong on the outside, was wicked right on the inside!
Wrong can be right! — Gypsy