Throw me a friggin’ bone
I’m not the praying kind, much to my minister mother’s dismay. But sometimes I send a little wish out to the universe and hope for the best. Right now is one of those times.
So…
Dear Universe (I like to do these in the form of a letter — feels more official),
Life is a balance, I get that. Sometimes you gotta wade through shit before you can get to the good stuff. Or something. So, I’m ok with taking my lumps every once in a while because I know that eventually things will turn around again and all will be right with the world. Balance.
But, if at all possible, could you hurry that turn-around up? Because the shit is starting to stink really, really bad. Look, I’ve been good. I haven’t complained (much), and I’ve soldiered on. And frankly I’m about done. I can shoulder burdens, and my back is broad, but enough is enough.
Please? Lay off!
Also, give Lancelot a job. One with benefits and good pay and prestige, please. But mostly good pay. And something he won’t want to jump off a cliff for doing, right? Because he needs that. And he, too, has been good and just and hardworking, and it’s about damn time the clouds parted and we got a little sunshine in our lives. K?
I’ll be expecting that job this week, please. There’s some cash on the dresser.
Thanks.
P.S. One last thing: If you could see fit to let me win the lottery, that’d be super. And while you’re at it, if you’re feeling miracle-ish, I’d like my body circa 1994. Awesome.
Cash… that’s what I keep forgetting!
What is this cash thing you speak of? — Gypsy
Oh, honey. I hope Universe answers you because ass-wipe seems to be ignoring my number! Cunt-licker piece of shit…
Whew! Where did that come from?
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..CMG Imponderables, Part 1
Can I get an amen? lol — Gypsy
I remember when I’d had more than enough bad shit and I sent up a little prayer. It was, thankfully, answered. But, I’d like to point out that I kept it pretty simple.
“No more shit please.”
I hope you haven’t gone to far by asking for the circa 1994 bod.
Have The T-Shirt’s last blog post..An Easter Surprise
Ah, shit. Trust me to go too far. — Gypsy
I hope good things come soon for you and Lancaloo.
I am with you on the body circa 1994 when I was 128 and thought I was fat.
grump.
LOO’s last blog post..Not sick
I’m a firm believer in writing letters to the universe. Hello, have you read Eat, Pray, Love? I’m serious.
(sorry you’re hurting.)
Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..The blog Okay, Fine, Dammit wants to be when it grows up